John Scalzi's SciFi Writing Contest #3

Another assignment for the contest is as follows:

Stung by the reviews of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen that describe the flick as being utterly without any redeeming qualities, director Michael Bay declares that the next Transformers movie will have a story and script based on one of the plays of William Shakespeare. In no more than two paragraphs, write a synopsis of that movie, using any Shakespeare play you like. NOTE: No fair using Titus Andronicus. I chose Othello for my submission...

Optimus, the Motor Coach of Venice Beach

In this third Transformers movie, Autobot leader Optimus Prime elopes with Elita-One (a sexy sportsbike Autobot). The dastardly Bumblebee (revamped as a 2012 Camaro convertible) reveals this to her Decepticon suitor Megatron, after Optimus chooses Hot Rod (a fireball red Ford GT Autobot) to be his successor. Bumblebee vows that he will get even with Optimus and convinces Megatron to activate Elita-One’s father, the powerful planet-eater Unicron. Bumblebee plays both sides against each other by warning Optimus of Megatron’s mission. Before Unicron arrives Optimus races to Venice Beach with his Autobot army to protect it from a Deceptacon invasion. The Deceptacons are repelled leading to a tentative truce. Unicron is convinced of Optimus’ love for his daughter and retires to an alternate universe. Optimus celebrates by consuming a small shard of All Spark, transforming into a luxury motor coach. Hot Rod gets drunk on Energon and picks a fight with Megatron, thus reigniting the war.

Optimus demotes Hot Rod, vowing that he will never claim the Matrix of Leadership. Bumblebee persuades Hot Rod that to regain Optimus’ favor he needs Elita-One to intercede on his behalf. Meanwhile, Bumblebee tricks his human companion, Sam Witwicky into stealing Elita-One’s new vanity plates (PRMSGRL) and slipping it under Hot Rod’s car mat. Later, Optimus watches as Bumblebee accuses Hot Rod (in car form) of stealing the plates. When Hot Rod transforms to protest his innocence, Elita-One’s plates are left behind. Optimus is convinced they are having an affair. Megatron destroys Hot Rod and is subsequently dispatched before he can reveal Bumblebee’s deception. Enraged, Optimus kills Elita-One by throwing her in a vehicle compactor. Sam exposes Bumblebee’s fraud. Bumblebee runs him over. A distraught Optimus impales himself with another All Spark shard. The Autobots tow Bumblebee to a chop shop.